Back to reality

It is always surprising how small a part of life is taken up by meaningful moments. Most of them...are over before they start, although they cast a light on the future, and make the person who originated them unforgettable.
- Anna and the King

Well here I am back in the US, reminiscing over my time spent in Kenya, and all the meaningful moments that made my time there so worthwhile. It already feels like Kenya was a dream...a very sweet dream. When I was leaving, it felt like I was just going away for a little bit, and that I'd be right back. I didn't want to leave, and now I want to turn around and go right back. It all seems like worlds away at this point.

My last morning there, Tuesday, James, Helen and I set out to buy a bed with some money that was donated for the benefit of the orphanage. We walked down the streets of Kawangware to several furniture stores before we found the perfect bed for which we were able to haggle the perfect price! Furniture shops in Kenya are quite different than the ones in the US. First of all, the furniture is made by hand right there, and it all sits on the dirt ground underneath a big tin shack. After we bought it they dusted it off, took it apart, and sawed some grills to place in the bottom (for the mattress to lay upon). Then they placed it on a two-wheeled cart, strapped it down and the carpenter got in front and started pulling it....all the way to the orphanage! You can see it in the picture. It's actually a double-decker, but you can't see the other half because the girls are all sitting on it. The carpenter didn't put it all back together when he got there. Grace took one look at it and she was speechless. She then turned to me and hugged me tighter than ever before, then she released me only to hug me again. She ended up crying on my shoulder, repeating over and over "God bless you!" I just held her for a moment, and I was thinking about something I've said before: that in general, Kenyans think that whites have money just growing out of their ears. Well as I thought about this, I also thought about the fact that even though they may think that, there are some that don't take it for granted. They are so incredibly grateful when they do receive something...anything. She didn't expect this; she didn't ask for it; and she certainly didn't think she deserved it. I didn't know what to do with the gratitude she showed me, so I just hugged her back. After a while, we went inside and got the orphans, who then came out and sat all over it for a picture. They were excited!

After pictures and excitement, we all went back inside where the orphans gathered around me, laid their hands on me and began to pray...all aloud, all at the same time, not in unison. Each of them had their own things to say... what, I do not know. I just know that as I stood there - their little hands touching, caressing, and tugging me so hard I felt like I was going to end up on the ground - that I was praying for them as well. I knew that I was going to miss them. I was going to miss their faces, their voices, them playing with my hair, hugging me, playing their games, reading to them, singing and dancing with them... the whole bit. When they were through, they sang me a goodbye song that was to the same tune as the welcome song they had sung the very first day. I then tried to say a few words to them. I had so much I wanted to say, even though half of them wouldn't understand. I started, "I'm gonna miss all you girls so much. You are all so sweet and deserve the best in your lives..." My voice trailed off as the lump in my throat grew to the size of a tennis ball and my eyes welled with tears. At that point I shut myself up and they all came in closer for a huge group hug. I then hugged them each one by one. As they all stood there staring at me and crying, I couldn't help but feel like I was letting them down by leaving. I felt so guilty! I tried to lighten the mood a little bit by singing one of their prayer songs that they had taught me. "Hakuna, hakuna, hakuna coma wewe. Hakuna, oh hakuna, hakuna coma wewe. Mba hakuna! ..." They always liked it when I'd sing that one. They joined in with me after the first verse and we sang together for a little bit. When the song was done, all the orphans and teachers lined up one-by-one, and I walked down the line touching each of their hands until I reached the door. I turned around, waved goodbye and walked out. Grace walked James, Helen and I up to the gate, Grace holding my hand the whole way. She gave me one last big hug before we walked out, and told me to come again soon. I said with confidence, "I will." As we exited the compound, I did wonder when I would see them again...

So we made our way back, and Daniel took us all to have lunch together, and talk and laugh together one last time. I was really gonna miss everyone. I feel like I got so close to those guys in such a short period of time, and then it all ended so abruptly. After lunch, I went back to the house to pack (yes, I waited until the very last second!). Catherine was getting ready to make dinner...she told me she was going to make it early so I could eat slowly over the next 4 hours that I was there in Kenya, savoring every last bite! She made me Chapati and Lentils. I think chapati was my favorite thing to eat there, and she knew it. Of course I had no problem eating it, even after eating a huge Mandazi breakfast and finishing every last bite of my scrumptious Coconut Curry Tilapia lunch! If there's one thing that I'm good at, it's eating :-) So I spent my last hours there talking and eating chapati with Catherine, Helen and Tony. Finally, Cleo arrived in the airport pickup vehicle to take me away. I said a warm goodbye to Catherine and Tony, and Helen accompanied me in the car so we could chat some more. As we parted ways at the door of the airport, I told Helen I loved her, I told Cleo never to be late picking me up again when I come back to Kenya (he was late when I first arrived and I was practically mobbed by all the taxi drivers who kept asking me where I needed to go), and then I walked through the door to check in. *Sigh*

And thus began my 26-hour trip home from sunny, 90-degree Kenya, which included an 8-hour layover in Amsterdam, and ended up with me being greeted by overcast skies and bitter cold snow. Talk about depressing! Being back feels kinda weird. It's like nothing changed, and almost like I never left. But while I was there, it felt like I had been gone forever...kinda like in the book The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe!! Alright, I'll get out of my fantasy world soon enough :-) My completely full backpack is sitting on the floor in my room, where it may remain for the next couple days or so. And I finally went grocery shopping yesterday for the first time in over a month!

So now back to business as usual. I've figured out some things, and I've made some decisions for myself, even though I'm not entirely sure where I'm headed at this point. But I do know that I have a great feeling about it all :-)

Cheers!